The best of the week from the funny people I follow on Facebook Friday! 

This guy shares, "I had a date last night.  I really enjoyed it.  Tonight, I'm going to try a fig." 

How about this one?  "I just had to ask my gas tank, 'What the heck did you do with the $20.00 I just gave you?" 

This aging buddy says, "I'm a wooden spoon, lead paint, no car seat, no bike helmet, bed of pickup riding, garden hose drinking survivor!" 

The same guy shared, "I'm so old I can remember when the only fake news was in the National Enquirer." 

A local pet owner says, "I look at all the dog hair on the floor and then at the dog and wonder, how is he not bald?" 

Here's some long weekend motivation, "Today is the day I do everything tomorrow." 

And one more, "I'm hiding out so I don't have to go to the gym.  I'm in the fitness protection program."